The Beginning

Dear Friends:

These first gigs have been so deep and so profound as I make my way through these early days of work without Tret. You know, the hardest part for me is not on stage, as some would have to believe, but rather the everyday world of eating and sleeping and moving through life in an ordinary way without her.

 

Grief has a way of changing even the most ordinary things. Everything is revealed in a new way, as only Change can do.

None of us would sign up for it, and so the Universe must make sure we go through it by coming to get us, sometimes by the throat. As these new songs pour through my body, my heart, my throat, there is a measure of relief from my agony. Aren't songs just a pure blessing in this world? The new songs have poured forth from the Wound almost whole, and friends have poured into the Wound, taking the place of pain which is such a relief. Friendship is surely the most beautiful investment in life that there is. My new songs aren't the same as joy, but they are as close as I have these days, and singing them on stage brings me closer to healing with every note, every appearance.

I am doing whatever I need to bring myself together from a fractured, agonized state, to one of wholeness, and hopefully to the safer shores of Forgiveness.

Meanwhile, I live for awhile empty, listening acutely for my voices to tell me what to do. Thank God for work to do which is strong and beautiful and despite the sadness at the core of all this, brings joy nonetheless to so many, myself above all.

With love from the Road...Cris